Things had been going on really well, not until....
Just 2 weeks ago, Nikki have been being very weak ever since the last time he had urinal infection. Since then, Nikki have not been as active as before... I thought it was normal since he's already 14 years old. But I'm very wrong...
(Nikki when he's at the vet for examination & catrofen injection)
When I came home from work on 12th June 2014, hoping to see Nikki welcoming me home... But it was so silent... Which really puzzled me...
Went to his usual spot, seeing him lie down with a sad look, scare me... He couldn't stand up anymore... He tried & tried... But fall again & again... I tried all I can to massage him, held him, support him... At that moment, I think to myself I've been prepared to this day to come... The day Nikki couldn't stand up & hv to be on cradle support for travelling around... But I still wanna try...!! Not giving up...
So the next day, I brought him to vet myself for catrofen shot...
He have to be held throughout the whole day... Seeing him lying so listlessly broke my heart.
After the examination of the vet, a news broke up which all dog owners will not wanna hear...
"I would suggest u let him go... He is suffering in pain all over. With his age, he could have organ failure all over & that is why he is peeing pool of blood..."
I cried... I'm shock... Nikki was only with me for 2 months... I have not done anything for him as his mummy... I can't let him go! So I went home with Nikki, not wanting to put him to sleep...
If anyone were to say, dogs does not know what is going on, you are absolutely WRONG! Nikki knows!!! He was tearing all the way back home...
Nikki would be hungry when back... So I told him "it's ok Nikki, I'm not gonna give up any treatment on you... It's ok if you can't stand up to eat. Mummy will feed you food 1 by 1. Mummy will nurse you back... So please don't give up ok?"
Things were not as easy as I think... It happen too fast for me to accept.. Nikki's not eating, not drinking... Not even his favourite treats will make him open his mouth. That is when I knew, Nikki's giving up.... Nikki's really in pain & leaving... My heart sank! I hug him tight in my arms crying & begging him to hold on... His time with me is too short... It's only 2 months! In this 2 months, he have given me more than what I've given him.
Animal communicator, Rebecca was immediately being called upon to do a distant reading... I wanted to know his last wish, his message... I wanted to tell him lots of things... I've so much love which I've not given him...
Msg from Nikki...
1) wat do u wish to do now before going?
Very laboured breathing. Pain in the stomach and chest.
Mummy, can you hold my hands and hug me tight when I go?
2) is there anything u wanna say to mummy & daddy?
Thank you for giving me a new lease of life. Happy to be with you even though time is short.( Is he trembling on left side? ) it hasn't always been a happy time. (feeling bloated in the stomach and nauseous) it's dark and painful for me but I wish to hold on a little longer. Just to have the feeling of home and a family.
3) are u in pain now? Do u wanna put to sleep or go slowly?
Head hurts but can I have my last moments at home?
4) mummy & daddy will bring u anywhere u wanna go... So do u wanna go anywhere or just stay at our side?
I want to go to a cooling and quiet place. showed me a picture of the seaside, in the open with both of you by his side. (My house is Santorini Theme, which is seaside)
5) is there anything u wan us to do for ur afterlife?
I don't want to go. I want to stay a little longer, just a little longer.
6) how u wanna us to do aft u pass on?
Can I still stay around in the house?
He wants to be cremated and have his ashes scattered where he can run free. He does not wanted to leave... He wanted to hold on longer to have home & love from mummy & daddy feeling longer. He wants to say sorry, for being vomited on the bed... He will hold on till about 1am. So please be prepared.
Reading all these makes me lost control of my tears... You have always been my good baby boy! Of course I'm your mummy! You can still stay around the house if you want after crossing the rainbow bridge where there's no pain, plenty of food, plenty of drink, big piece of land for you to run about... But mummy & daddy have a request... Can we keep your ashes with us as memorial? You can still run free, my baby...
14th June 2014, 12.58am
This is the time... Nikki is gone... Gone a painful way... My world just collapse... Everything happen just so fast. So fast for me to have no time to react. Seconds before he's gone, I can hear him crying out something... Something like mummy daddy I love you... But I didn't know what it really is... I wish I could understand. I wish I could pull him back. But everything's too late now. He have ended all his pain & will go to the other side of the rainbow bridge waiting for me to reunite with him 1 day...
Nikki's funeral & cremation is carried out by Tengoku天国 on 14th June 2014 @ 12.45pm.
I would like to thank everyone for the condolence wishes & support. I would like to thank all those that have visited Nikki & also all those that bring Nikki into my life.
Special Thanks...
Hubby - Thanks for being there for me & Nikki @ every moment of what we have went through. Without your approval, Nikki will not be even our dearest baby.... Thanks for taking care of him when I'm not around. Thanks for fulfilling Nikki's wish to be around both of us till his last breath & sending him off together as a family. Thanks for being there for me when I grieve. Thanks for always wiping tears away for me whenever u see my tear drop... Thank you so much for your love for the both of us... I Love You!
Eric - Thanks for always on 24/7 standby to drop down to my house whenever I called for help. Thanks for helping to ferry us to Nikki's cremation. Thanks for being there for Nikki whenever he needed urgent help. Thanks for joining to send Nikki off.
Jenesta/Leonard/Sebastian - Thanks for the sending off for Nikki. Thanks for all the care & concern & let him feel loved whenever you all dropby to visit him. Thanks for all your condolence & well wishes. Thanks for being there for me even thou we met not long. Thanks for saving furkids & giving them a 2nd chance of life.
SPCA Singapore - Thanks for letting me pass the screening & being able to adopt Nikki. Thanks for letting me have 1 more day with him even thou you guys are closing & doing OT when I'm suppose to come again the next day to collect him. Thanks for taking care of Nikki for the time when he is with you guys.
